How Holistic Horsemanship Can Teach You and Your Horse How to Feel Less Vulnerable as a Learner When Outside Your Comfort Zone
I wish I had known this when I was a younger student. It would have saved me so much frustration, despair, and confusion.
Are you familiar with the Dunning-Kruger Effect?
“The Dunning–Kruger effect is defined as the tendency of people with low ability in
a specific area to give overly positive assessments of this ability. This is often seen
as a cognitive bias, i.e. as a systematic tendency to engage in erroneous forms
of thinking and judging.” - Wikipedia
If you've encountered someone whose performance is poor and are entirely unaware of it while being confident in their abilities, you likely witnessed the Dunning-Kruger Effect at play.
This was me when I got back into horses.
Secretly, I thought I knew enough to be great with horses. I say it secretly because I was never a bragger or arrogant, just ignorant.
And my ignorance made me blind and kept me stubborn.
I was never scared of learning. I am a passionate learner who likes to be challenged. But I never knew how to learn until I got back into horses and fell in love with what I was learning.
Aristotle famously wrote,
"The more you know, the more you realize you don't know."
This is so true! I never understood this until I got back into horses. I realized that just because I wanted to learn, it did not mean I was good at learning.
The more I accepted the idea that "the more you know (learn), the more you know (learn) how much you don't know," the easier it was to learn. As counterintuitive as this sounds, it is the path to becoming a good and confident learner.
First, I had to humble myself and admit that I knew very little about horse care, training, and rehabilitation. Once I accepted this, I felt a sense of freedom. I no longer had to go through the torturous process of trying to learn and act like I knew what I was doing. What a horrible pattern of self-sabotage that was!
My new awareness about myself had set me free, helping me let go of my emotional attachment to myself and my ego.
As the saying goes, “Once you know, you can’t unknow.”
From that moment on, I knew who I was as a learner, and it was onward and upward.
This meant starting from ground zero in my learning with an open mind and attitude. This excited me and motivated me to want to learn like never before.
The more I focused on this positive and liberating feeling about learning, the easier it was to learn. Sure, I had to change how I was learning, but I wasn’t intimidated, worried, or trying to act like I knew anymore. From here on, I knew how to set myself up to become a successful (and confident) learner.
I see the same learning mindsets in many of my students. I can’t say its age or generational. Rather, I believe it’s more about self-awareness, self-esteem and ego.
Many students enter my holistic horsemanship with the best intentions, but they lose motivation to keep learning and practicing.
I am the first to admit that my method is not easy. While I offer a comprehensive step-by-step process, the process itself is complicated.
This is because our horses are sentient beings. They are complicated. Most of us (horses and humans) are damaged on some level and need fixing and rehabilitation before we can learn easily and confidently. This is why there is no quick fix for rehabilitation.
And rehabilitation must come before training.
Let me ask you this…how self-aware, honest, and vulnerable are you when you feel uncomfortable as a learner?
Being aware and honest about who I was as a learner is what set me free and allowed me to reach my potential.
This has nothing to do with scholastics, testing, or being textbook smart.
It has everything to do with learning outside your comfort zone and embracing that you don’t know what you don’t know—and that’s okay!
How to Feel Less Vulnerable When Outside Your Comfort Zone
It’s normal to feel vulnerable when you step outside your comfort zone. You may feel exposed, unprepared, and uncertain about how to react. So, how can you reduce these feelings of vulnerability? To feel more comfortable and less vulnerable, consider trying the following:
Don’t Compare
Stop comparing yourself to others and concentrate on your personal growth. Everyone is at different levels in their learning journey, and everyone grows in their own unique way. How can you direct your energy toward yourself instead of comparing yourself with others?
The same strategy applies to horsemanship and handling your horse’s development, aka training. The more you focus on yourself and your horse, the easier and more enjoyable learning will become.
Take Baby Steps
This is huge! 99% of horsemanship students (everywhere) go too FAST! In addition, they focus on the goal and not the process. When you see talented horsemen/women, know they all followed a curriculum (training path) and took their time.
The best way to begin is by taking small steps, like making one small move each day toward an area that interests you. This approach (mindset/attitude) works because it gradually introduces you and your horse to a new experience versus flooding or overwhelming you.
So, how can you take small steps instead of jumping ahead too quickly? Be in the moment, be present, and attuned to your and your horse’s needs. I specialize in these areas so if you need help, let me know!
You're Never Alone
Remind yourself that others are also stepping outside their comfort zones. Everyone faces unique challenges, so it's crucial to recognize that not everyone has an easy ride.
Find your tribe! Whether it’s an online community, social group, fellow boarders, or students at your barn. Reach out and find your support.
Even if it appears as though someone else has it all together, remember that everyone is dealing with their own difficulties.
How does this perspective help? When you observe someone else struggling, you may come to realize that you're not the only one who feels nervous or uncomfortable.
Be kind and compassionate with yourself. You deserve the same grace
you give to your horse.
Ground Yourself
Practice mindfulness and meditation to stay grounded. Research shows that individuals (horses and humans) experiencing anxiety or depression can become better at tolerating distress through mindfulness training.
The next time you're in an uncomfortable situation, practice mindful breathing to get out of your head (ego) and back into your senses (your body). Sometimes, touching your horse and leaning into them for a hug is all it takes.
The key is practice. Practice until you make progress, and if you don’t make progress, it’s time to contact your coach – me 😊
Practice Until It Becomes a Habit
It takes two weeks to shift a paradigm and form a new habit and 28 days to create one. But you’re not done. To make a new habit stick, it has to become your foundation (foundations last forever). This means you practice until your thoughts and your actions become second nature without thought.
This is the secret to becoming a confident and passionate learner.
You are rewiring your nervous system (and your horses), which rewires
your neural pathways and your brain.
Takeaways
It's important to push yourself (and your horse) beyond your comfort zone, but it may be wise to take a step back for a while if you feel extremely uncomfortable or afraid.
Neuroscience proves that taking breaks during learning increases retention ability and quickens progress for both you and your horse. It’s called dwell time.
For some individuals, anxiety can be overwhelming. If you are experiencing severe anxiety or fear, this may indicate an anxiety disorder that requires professional treatment. If you are concerned that your fear or anxiety is becoming unmanageable, consult your healthcare provider.
I offer virtual coaching and can help you as a learner, with or without your horse. Please click here for details: https://www.taoofhorsemanship.com/natural-horsemanship-coaching. You can also email me directly to schedule a Zoom meeting where we can meet and discuss what path to take: Caroline@taoofhorsemanship.com.
If you want to learn more, I will discuss this further within my upcoming podcast:
"Is Perfectionism Paralyzing Your Horsemanship?"
Join me, Caroline Beste, and my special guest Sheri Scurr, from Heart Connections Horsemanship, LLC. www.hchorsemanship.com for a LIVE podcast, Wednesday, November 13, 12PM/EST/USA on the Tao of Horsemanship Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TaoofHorsemanship.
Want to try the Holistic Horsemanship Mini-Series? Regularly $179.99, you can try this series for just $29.99 for a limited time! It's a great way to get an introduction to holistic horsemanship and how my programs work! Please click here for details:
Are you ready to start your beautiful journey NOW?
If you are ready to dive in and follow my holistic horsemanship roadmap (complete step-by-step curriculum), where you learn how to develop you and your horse holistically, from the inside out, ground to riding, rehab to recovery, beginner to pro, please click here: https://www.taoofhorsemanship.com/horse-riding-holistic-program.
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